Sunday Ramble in the Garden State

For the US-centric among you, I am not referring to New Jersey. Apparently, Victoria is the Garden State of Australia. I discovered this today while exploring the lovely Prahran Market (pronounced pahran because the first 'r' is a bit silent).

Not everything was open because it is Sunday, but it was still exciting enough for me. I purchased local raw honey and fresh eggs, fresh bread, produce, sausage and a quinoa salad. Everyone was so nice, and whenever I told them I had a cold I always got a piece of ginger in whatever form they sold it in. Candied from the nut stand and honeyed from the honey stand. So sweet!! I took a few photos to give you a flavor of the scene today. There was a live band in the courtyard. The pictures of the predator did not come out well, but he stood imposingly in a tattoo parlor. The tree lined walks were along Fawkner Park on the way home.

I learned from the honey vendor that raw milk is called "bath milk" because you can only buy it to take baths "Cleopatra style", as she put it. That sounds quite luxurious, but not likely something I'll do since most apartments don't seem to have tubs around here.

And how am I navigating and communicating in this fine city you ask? With my multitude of gadgets of course. I now tote around an iPad, an iPhone, a Blackberry (corporate and local), and a pocket wi-fi to get them all connected. I will clearly have to ditch some of this eventually, but for now my transition makes it necessary.



I stopped by an Ugg store on Chapel street and was appalled that they are just as expensive here as in the US. Plus I discovered that they are considered house shoes around here and most fashionable people would not be caught dead wearing them out. Take that NYC fashionistas!

Things I learned

Today was a very long day. I'm fighting a cold but I couldn't stay home to nurse it. Lucky for you that means I have new discoveries to share!

A few nice phrases I've been hearing around:

• good on you! - an exclamation of support for whatever you just said


• how you going? - a mashuo of "how's it going" and "how you doing"


• ta - thanks

People have been fabulously friendly here, living up to their reputation. The only annoying people I encountered were on a crowded tram full of teenage school girls. I'll forgive them because I know it is an awkward phrase. I mean, "like Mandarin is hard and my accent is terrible, I got a 42, but I was not really trying you know". This was followed by a rant about how the new school berets look terrible on everyone (no offense to the girl wearing it of course). Imagine that in an Aussie accent, it was brilliant, to borrow a British turn of phrase.

Unlike the trains on the subway, not all train/tram doors open automatically for you. Watch out for this, you too could be caught staring dumbly at a door that will not open through sheer force of will. And you wouldn't want to be caught looking dumb in front of a gaggle of school girls, they can be vicious! I learned this in front of a friendly older woman in an outer suburb, whew!

I looked at 5 apartments today and this is what I learned about Melbourne flats:

• Eurostyle laundry means there is a hookup, not necessarily a washer/dryer in the unit


• Sometimes a unit comes with a dryer and not a washer so you won't hang your laundry out and mess with the building aesthetic


• A refrigerator is considered a price of furniture, like a couch, so bring your own. Ovens and dishwashers come standard. Explain that distinction...


• In New York I had a bedroom with more than enough room for a queen bed, that is not a given here, bedrooms are meant for full beds here, and nothing else.


• The missing space from the bedroom has been put in the kitchen/living area usually, which makes for nice kitchens and proves they are a social people.


• Balconies are easy to come by, worthwhile views are a bit trickier. Today I saw a busy intersection, the back of a building and a car park. One had a view of the Eureka tower but the carpet smelled, so that was out.

I think my quest for 2 bedrooms is over. There is no point in having a guest room that doesn't fit a proper bed in it. My couch sleeps one comfortably and maybe I'll get a better view for my guests to marvel at instead.

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Trust and Respect - Rent or Buy

I've spent the last decade diligently following the rules so I could attain the respect of being an independent adult; capable of paying my bills and a credit report to prove it. Then It took me just 24 hours to cross an ocean and wipe the slate clean. Without a physical address I am not to be trusted. Sure, I only arrived 3 days ago, but I'm good on my word - trust me, I'm an American!

I can't get a tax ID or a driver's license, I can't register for a library card, the city bike sharing program, or a car sharing service. I can only get a bank account because I opened a US account with HSBC before I left and they know who I am. I also can't get a new phone, partly because the local providers won't give me a contract and partly because AT&T will not release it's stranglehold on the iPhone. I'm going to guess they won't trust me when I call to tell them I've moved out of their coverage area. So today I purchased a pre-paid pocket wi-fi device instead of getting it for free with a 12 month contract. Worth every Aussie penny because now all three of my devices can Skype; take that AT&T roaming charges! And so my quest for a legitimizing address is on - fueled by a pocket wi-fi connection to domain.com.au and realestate.com.au and the largest tram network in the world.

I've always thought of renting as a respectable choice. After all, buying is fraught with risks, as the housing crisis has taught us. But I'm starting to realize that renting puts you in a class of people that is somehow less respectable. You are untethered, which makes you just a bit less trustworthy. I've been wondering what the big deal is with the "American dream" of owning a home. But it seems this aspiration is not uniquely American - we just seem to expect to achieve it as if it were in the bill of rights. Every time I consider it, the numbers don't add up for me. I'd spend more to get less AND have more responsibility; therefore more risk - that the market will turn down or that there will be unexpected property maintenance expenses. And now I have one more reason to avoid it: the Foreign Investment Review Board. I am an outsider, so my intentions are instantly suspect and subject to additional scrutiny.

In Australia, your tenancy history actually gets stored in a central location for easy access by future landlords. There is a "big brother" factor to this but I suppose it is more convenient than the looser methods of tenancy verification in the US. In a way it makes renter histories as accessible as homebuyers. But without the cash investment it just doesn't garner the same amount of respect. When you walk into a real estate office they get very interested, then you tell them you are renting and they seem interested in getting you out of there quickly. When I look around at buildings and find ones I'd like to live in, they often turn out to be condos - not for lease. The best spots are owned, the rest get rented.

Tomorrow I have 3 "inspections" of "flats" scheduled. Assuming one of them pans out and they accept my application I'll become somewhat legitimate, but not quite as respectable as if I owned something.

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On Holiday

Australia is a wonderful country. They have nice weather AND a very relaxed perspective about work. Take, for example, their reaction to the quandary that ANZAC day (like the US Memorial Day) happened to fall on the Monday after Easter Sunday. This would normally be a day off for Easter, but since it was now attributed to ANZAC it was decided that Tuesday should also be a holiday (to extend the Easter festivities). Mind you, this is already after getting Good Friday off, so that means a 5 day weekend for a religious holiday few people in this country actually observe.

All this would be fabulous if it weren't for the fact that I have things to do and many shops are closed - making it hard to run errands - so instead I wandered about and made some new friends.

One important thing my new friends taught me was the proper pronunciation of Melbourne. I was saying Melburn. The British say Melborn as in The Bourne Identity. The locals say Melbun. At least that is how it sounds to my ear. It seems the general rule here is to drop letters when possible, especially when they can be shortened and made cuter by adding a 'y'. To name a few: football => footy, breakfast => brekky, super => supa.

I've also enjoyed a few shop names along the way: Lucky Coq is a bar where, presumably, you can pick up guys, if they are lucky. Lord of the Fries is a cute little Pomme Frites shop. NYPD is NY Pizza Deli, which sells "authentic NY pizza" to unsuspecting Aussies.

On my first day here I was quite pleased to see a lake full of black swans and have a live encounter with possums in my friend's backyard. At this point I started to wonder about my assumption that the dangerous creatures of this land were scared away by the city. I was assured that the hospitals have all the antivenoms on hand for any spiders I may encounter and the most deadly ones don't live in Melbourne. I started noticing spider webs all over the place after that.

Since I am still an Aussie newb I was more excited than I should have been when I saw prawns being put on the grill for dinner. It turns out that no one ever says "throw another shrimp on the barbie" here. This was popularized in America by an ad from 1984 featuring Paul Hogan meant to entice American vacationers. Aussies call shrimp "prawns", even the small ones. And no one has yet said "g'day" to me.

Perhaps they give it a rest during holidays.

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