Friday, December 23, 2011

Year end musings

I just spent over 2 weeks working in Beijing. It is my fourth visit this year and I am feeling a bit sad to leave this time. I have come to enjoy the rhythm of life in this sliver of China, despite the never ending American Christmas music soundtrack at the hotel.

It might be because I can now direct a cab driver to my office without showing him a piece of paper. It might be because I had enough time to enjoy the social life Beijing has to offer (and make great new friends!). It might be the amazement I still have for a country that pulled their cities into the 21st century in under 3 decades. 

I won't miss the smog, the traffic or the spitting. But somehow the graciousness of my hosts and the energy of the work environment makes it all worth it.

Two years ago at this time I was sitting in New York, dreaming about the next phase in my life. I set my sights on Australia as my base and Asia as my challenge. I started learning Mandarin at a stuttering pace and figuring out how to become an expat. I moved in April to Melbourne and was on a flight to China in June. My shipment from the US arrived in July and I have not regretted the move since.

Today I have a multi-entry China visa and a pile of frequent flyer miles. When people ask me where I am from, I hesitate. I am a global hobo. I was born in California, schooled in New York and now live in Australia 50% of my time and Asian hotels the other half. 

There are days when I feel a bit lonely, but usually I am too busy meeting new people to feel that way for long. I have met oil rig workers, barristers, engineers, researchers, developers, salesmen and students. They come from all over the world and have great stories. We are united by the ease of travel in this hyper connected world and the common English that is spoken by international travelers. 

I have learned not to make assumptions about the meaning of the words I speak or hear and I am always prepared to clarify a misunderstanding. The only thing that comes through universally is kindness. 

Last month a new mate went out of his way to give me a ride in the pouring Melbourne rain. Today a stranger let me go ahead of him in line because I was clearly in a hurry. I have had my colleagues regularly go the extra mile to make sure I can get my job done. Once, a stranger rescued my stuffed angry birds from a bullet train in Japan.

So as I wander this world looking for the welcome signs for hobos like myself, I always remember to smile and express my gratitude to all the people who make it possible.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my family, old friends, new friends and colleagues. As always, I look forward to a brighter year than the one before, but this one will be hard to beat.

恭祝圣诞, 并贺新禧

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Single White Female Seeking Redwood for Friendship and Nostalgia

I grew up in a somewhat remote part of California, where the tallest trees in the world grow over 300 feet tall and live for thousands of years. They are the Coastal Redwoods, also known as Sequoia Sempervirens in Latin and 加州红杉木 in Chinese (literally "California Red Tall Tree"). They are also called living fossils because they are so ancient. Fossil remnants of their genus have been found around the globe in the same latitude, but until 1944 it was assumed that California was the only place they still grew natively.

My aunt Gladys, who lives in Humboldt county and visits the ancient redwood groves regularly, sent me a brochure she found from the Save-the-the-Redwoods League about Dawn Redwoods, Metasequoia in Latin and 水衫 in Chinese. These are a Northern relative of the Coastal variety whose fossils have been found in various places including Japan, Greenland and parts of the Canadian ice flows. This varietal was thought to have become extinct 20 million years ago, but in 1944, in a secluded valley in the Szechuan province of China, botanists discovered the first living Dawn Redwood. This is a scan from the brochure of one of the redwoods found in Hubei (spelled Hupeh in the caption) province in 1948.


So I was inspired to find to visit this unique discovery in Western China and ended up encountering redwoods in unexpected places along the way.

My first surprise came in the Botanical Garden in Australia. My first week exploring led me to the California section and there was an unmistakable redwood growing in the middle of Melbourne. It is probably not wet enough here for coastal redwoods, instead it is the Giant Sequoia varietal.

During one of my Asian trips I spent a few days in Japan. After an amazing meal at an upscale Japanese restaurant, I realized that their entry way was decorated by a large slab of redwood. My hosts didn't understand my excitement. But there is something quite reassuring about finding rare touches of home in far flung places.

Upon my return to Australia I attempted to find a tour company that might lead me to the Western province mentioned in the brochure since I am not yet so fluent to trust my skills outside a Tier 1 city in China. I stumbled upon a site that advertised exactly what I was looking for, but a few years too late. The tour company had hoped the lure of Redwoods would get California travelers to visit China, but apparently we are far and few between, so the tour is no more.

I then travelled to Beijing for work and while jogging in a well manicured park in the CBD, what should I encounter? Why, a Dawn Redwood, of course! A small specimen, but doing it's best to represent a proud genus.


I could now say I have accomplished my goal of seeing a Dawn Redwood in China. But I'm not quite satisfied. So I showed my brochure to a friend who is from a Western Chinese province and sought his advice. The brochure was all in English, so it took us a bit of searching and creative translation to figure out that 'Mo-tao-chi', supposedly the discovery site in Szechuan province from the brochure, was really 谋道溪 (in pinyin "mou dao xi") which literally translates to "seeking the path to the creek".

This does not result in any clear directions to the place and Google maps is quite confused by the search, but I know I am getting closer and hope to see a much older specimen in my later journeys to China.


During our search we found out that in Nixon's famous visit to China in 1972 he brought seedling redwoods from California. These are now growing in anywhere from 18 to all of the provinces of China depending on which article you read. So now I need to find at least one of those as well.  Because of how rare redwoods are, they are also known as Pandas in the world of Chinese Botany. 

As a return favor it seems that someone brought a Chinese Dawn Redwood to Massachusetts. So if you can't get to China, at least you can see one in the US, it is now over 50 years old and thriving in Mt Auburn Cemetery

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Fukushima - personal perspective

I'm no expert in energy in general or nuclear power. I'm just a traveler and observer and this is what I see about the reaction to Fukishima.

I work in Asia Pacific, a massive area that contains billions of people who all approach life a bit differently. My job is to find solutions to problems that cross as many boundaries as possible and when they can't, optimize locally. 

I just spent almost two weeks in Beijing during their best season, Autumn. There were actually days I saw the blue sky and enjoyed walking outside - but still the ash fell on my keyboard and made me take notice. And those were notable because of their rarity. Beijing is not the worst in terms of air pollution in China; Linfen regularly disappears from satellite images because of the pollution from coal factories. It has been shown that the smog from China impacts California, compounding their own locally produced problems. The three of us who spent more than a couple of days in Beijing all ended up sick - all side effects of pollution.

I arrived in Tokyo carrying my cold and spent 24 hours sleeping it off. When my body recovered I opened my window to a view of the famous Shibuya intersection. Famous for how crowded it is. And yet, there was the blue sky. The mega city of Japan bustled with people and industry, yet it was not choked by coal. Why? Because a large portion of their power is nuclear. 

Fukishima was a horrible lesson in how risky nuclear power can be, and now 76% of Japanese want to reduce their dependency. Understandable given their recent tragedy. But what if the poll were phrased: "Would you rather have continuous air pollution that makes your people sick or the manageable chance of a nuclear meltdown?" I say manageable because despite the system being as complex as it is, and despite all the earthquakes and human mistakes over the decades of Japan's growth, this is the first time they came this close. If anything, this should serve as the warning light on the global control panel for nuclear plants to improve, not shutdown. We get better when we make mistakes and we learn from each other. If we give up on this technology that we know so much about we probably go back to the dirty, cheap choking coal, because, sadly, the next generation of energy sources is not ready to produce the amount of energy we need. 

Perhaps this is just what Japan needs to be the ones who produce that new energy source that does. They are restricted in their energy use here and barely made it through the summer without blackouts. Necessity is the mother of invention after all. I'm all in favor of that, and wouldn't it be ironic that their use of nuclear power led to their freedom from it. No one can plan innovation, we can simply do our best to create environments that allow it to happen. And then hope that a miracle (like a near meltdown?) happens.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Penguin Orgy

Yesterday was a gorgeous, clear, crisp winter day in Melbourne. So I decided the weather was cooperating enough for a trip to Philip Island today. I picked up a few tips for those who have never done this and aren't going with a local.

The first is that if you tell your Android phone to 'Navigate to Philips island' it will give you a route that takes 59 days, includes tolls, a ferry, and passes through Japan. This is *not* the right island. Thankfully the island I was seeking was only a two hour drive from Melbourne. So I took out my Flexicar Honda Jazz with a picnic lunch and faced my first tollway/freeway experience on the left.

The nice thing about the M1 tollway is that it is full speed for all lanes. No tollbooths, just glowing overhangs that make your toll device go beep really loud when you go under them. I'm not sure if they check speed at the same time, so I was a good girl, 80km/hr feels slower than it sounds. It rained for most of the drive down, but I was rewarded with a magnificent view of the ocean when the sun broke through in that glorious stormy way.



Philip Island is on the Bass Straight which is 350 km of water between Australia and Tasmania. It is home to the 'Little Penguin'. Sometimes they are known as Fairy Penguins, but that is not correct according to my guide. They are the smallest of the 17 penguin species and the only ones that are blue and white instead of black and white. So they are clearly fashion forward even if they aren't fairies.

Penguins were the reason I went to the island. But they don't make an appearance until nightfall, so I sought out the other scenic attractions first. I was told to visit the Koala habitat, so that was my first stop. Koalas are not native to the island, and humans have done a lot of work to make this home viable for them. In the past they flourished so much they decimated the Eucalyptus trees on the island. The informative panels made reference to our own trajectory in this regard. But I have faith that we are better at managing our habitat than an animal that sleeps 20 hours a day. In fact, we have turned our ingenuity to making sure they survive despite their very poor evolutionary choice of eating only eucalyptus leaves. They spend hours eating leaves to get as many calories as we get from a bowl of cereal.








I actually saw one move more than it's head this time, which was nifty. But mostly I spent the afternoon sighting furry lumps in tree branches. The highlight was hearing a Kookaburra and watching some magpies fight over a female.

I arrived at the Penguin Parade grounds at the allotted time and learned the following things that they don't tell you on the website:


  1. If you buy the Penguin Plus tickets and don't want to shop at the gift shop for an hour, get there about 30 min before sunset. The birds don't appear until all the light is gone

  2. If it is wet that day, bring some plastic to sit on, better yet a blanket

  3. The penguins do in fact parade right by you (and 1-4000 other humans) without seeming to be perturbed. So much so that they get right down to business within minutes of arrival. The sounds of penguin lust fills the air and one pair even gave us a show in range of the lights.



The video you can buy detailing the lives of these lovely birds has a label that says 'mature themes', but the website has no such warning about the live event.

It was a really neat place, and worth a trip from anywhere in the world. I didn't take a penguin home, but I did get an intimate view of their land lives, which is really better since they clearly have no shame.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Angry Bird Saga



The beginning

Some of you may not know about the Angry Birds phenomenon, so read up and this will make a lot more sense.

My friend inspired us to decorate our cubes with a theme. Her theme was "it's a jungle in here" and she found a plush angry bird that made bird noises when squeezed. It was so popular that it became clear we needed the whole set. So I was charged with acquiring more plush angry bird characters while in Hong Kong, and possibly even a large slingshot to take aim at our friendly sales team across the room.

The hunt

I was only supposed to be in Hong Kong for 5 days, but thankfully my time was extended, because it took a lot of visits to various markets before I found what I was looking for. I tried Central, Mid-levels, Stanley Market and then finally had success at Trendy Market and Ladies Market.

Trendy had mini ones with slingshots, which are loads of fun, but mostly recoil back on you instead of hitting your target. I hit the jackpot with one stall that had birds that were twice the size of my head. I bargained down to $50 HKD, which is about $6.50. In my excitement over my find and bargaining I neglected to consider how I would carry such a thing home with me.

My bags were already stuffed, so I determined to test the limits of carry on allowance on international flights. I showed up with a big pink plastic bag full of plush angry birds and pigs and ready to make my case that they would compress well in the overhead bin. The Hong Kong staff are clearly used to overstuffed shoppers and I was given no grief. I was safely on my way to Tokyo with the giant red angry bird overhead.

The separation

I dragged that pink bag of birds on the bus from Narita airport to Shibuya, by cab to the office, then to the train station and finally on the train on my way back to the airport for my flight to Sydney. I put the bag above me and ended up in a conversation with my neighbor. At Terminal 2 I got up to unlock my bag because they warned me to do this before the stop and then got off promptly at the stop. About halfway up the escalator I realized that I had left the bag above my seat on the train.

The rescue

Quite unexpectedly, the gentleman I had just met on the train offered to run down and get the bag. But he was too late and my birds departed for another terminal. I figured that was the end of that but my new friend encouraged me to ask the staff and miraculously we found someone who spoke English fluently. She called ahead and told us we had to pick it up from the next terminal. I was worried I'd be late if I embarked on another journey, so he went in my stead and promised to meet me at the Qantas checkin.

And to my relief, there he was not long after I checked in, with my pink bag full of angry birds in hand! My hero!

The outing

The birds were well received in Sydney and participated in our first quarter celebrations. After an incident doused the angry bird with beer we took him back to the hotel.

The theft

Now that the team had bonded with the bird it was even more important that he arrive safely in Melbourne. So I became worried when the checkin woman was giving the guy ahead of me a hard time about luggage allowance. Thankfully I got the nice one and away we went. The flight was completely full and I crammed the birds in the overhead bin. After a rough landing I awkwardly maneuvered to get my birds out and was confident I had my pink bag well in hand. But wait, it feels lighter as I'm walking, and oh no! The big red angry bird had fallen out of the bag.

I ran back to the gate and found the attendant to be highly amused as she radioed "can you see if there is an angry bird on the plane". the whole plane emptied before the answer came: some boys had taken it! So I ran for baggage claim and wondered how I hadn't seen them go by with my large red angry bird held captive.

The end

I scoured the crowd, which was limited to just our flight and slowly but surely gave up hope. I stood at baggage claim feeling sad that I had lost the big red angry bird on the last leg of my journey. Then the attendants came by and asked if I had gotten my bird back, I shook my head sadly and the woman from the plane said, "there they are, they have it". And with a chagrined look, a 20-something guy pulled my bird out of his duffel bag.

When I got in the cab I told him not to let me leave the cab without this bird in hand. He did not seem amused, but he just didn't understand the saga of the angry bird.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Bigger is better

I'm sure that Sun Tzu must have said that in the Art of War because it is easy to find the biggest whatever in China.

I started with the Venetian Macau, the largest casino in the world. It is very difficult to get a sense of the size from the ground when you walk up, it looks about the same as the one in Las Vegas, except instead of a lovely walkway, there is a massive parking lot full of busses continuously ejecting tour groups. But then you go in and begin to wander, and wander, and wander. And then you can't find the exit and you are impressed by the designers who built this maze of commercial nirvana. They have interactive maps that attempt to help you, but you really need to be part of one of those tour groups to have any hope. There is also something quite odd about seeing a rotund Chinese man in an Italian costume steering a boat down a faux Venetian channel. I never did find the ice palace that got me in there in the first place. Oh, and it is built on a very large span of reclaimed land between two real islands.

Back on the island of Hong Kong, I navigated to Central and up a steep incline to the Mid-level escalators. Touted to be the longest escalator in the world, it is really a random sequence of walkways, escalators and people movers. It only goes up and sections are often broken. It takes you past shops and restaurants and isn't nearly as exciting as it should be. There is also some odd Oyster card station along the way where you can tap your transit card (for the metro) and get a 2 HKD credit. People were lined up for this and it is a decent walk from the metro, so it remains a mystery why people are rewarded for the excursion. Perhaps it is part of some exercise program the government runs.

Finally I got to experience a vertigo inducing cocktail in the bar at the World's highest hotel on the Kowloon side. It is appropriately named Ozone and the decor is also a bit disorienting. The outdoor terrace is protected from the wind but open on the top and sits at 118 stories up. I had a gorgeous clear night and a great view of the glittering lights of the city.

Next I'm off to Japan where I hope they don't have the biggest earthquake.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Global Citizens

On the flight from Beijing to Hong Kong I sat next to a gentleman who struck up a conversation based on my Chinese studies. He was a Russian diplomat stationed in Hong Kong who spoke Russian, Mandarin, Cantonese, English and a bit of Portuguese. he lived in mainland China for 13 years and was in Beijing during the Tianamen Square incident. He claims 203 people were killed and mostly not in the main square. He also felt the students had no idea what they were doing and had no hope of getting anywhere that day. He was reading a Chinese magazine with an article by a Chinese political science professor at Columbia University about what will happen next year when the new leaders take power. No one seems to be overly worried about the transition since the goal is always a "harmonious society". It's a good thing China doesn't compete for the Stanley Cup.

On Saturday night I dressed up and headed for Lan Kwai Fong to see who I'd meet. I ended up chatting with two Frenchmen who were on their way home after a visit to their factory in Shenzhen (just across the border in Mainland China). One had lived in Miami for 20 years and spoke fluent English, the other knew high school level English and got roped into a bachelorette party where the girls were all wearing pink wigs and the bride to be was in purple. They introduced him to Jello shots and it did not seem to matter that they could not really speak the same language.

Today I took a trip to Macau and met an Austrian with a Norweigen name, living in Switzerland and working in Lichtenstein. He was in Hong Kong to meet with clients and this was his second trip to Macau. All his clients are fleeing to gold, the real stuff, none of those ETFs. God help us if we end up losing complete faith in the dollar and the Euro. Maybe I should buy more RMB while my money is still worth something...or maybe I'll just buy some more clothes. I do love Shanghai Tang.


In RMB we trust

I arrived in Beijing at 3am on Monday because of delayed flight. I argued with the cab driver about the price because the flight attendant told me it should be 80 RMB and the driver quoted 100 RMB (for reference the current rate is $1 -> 6.5 RMB) so I was arguing with him over $3. I may have been sleep deprived. And in the end it was 85 RMB, because it was metered, so no negotiating was required.

That night my colleague took us to a faux silk market because the real one is far too touristy at this point. I was so excited to practice my Mandarin skills that I attempted to negotiate in 普通话 (Chinese). We came to an impasse at 100 RMB for three scarves. She wanted 110, so finally I attempted to offer 105, I chose to literally translate, a rookie mistake! I called out 一佰五, and they broke out into laughter and said Yes! Turns out I offered 150 RMB. So now I know that 105 is 一伯零五. That extra character representing zero.

Clearly my negotiating skills need work. The first thing I need to do is look Chinese, then I need to value small sums of money more than time and begin enjoying the exercise like a game rather than a transaction.

Thank goodness I have other endearing qualities, because I also managed to make a fool of myself by throwing something squishy on my new colleague at dinner. I am not a novice at chopsticks but this thing was slippery! I then watched the pros and saw them using spoons to pick it up. That night I ate wasabi duck feet and drank warm corn juice. The corn juice grows on you, the duck feet should be avoided at all costs.

On this trip I jumped in and ate fresh fruit and even sushi. Either they have cleaned up their water supply since my last visit or my stomach is tougher than average. Of course the smog and cigarette smoke probably took about a month off my lifespan, all in the name of progress!


What we value

I'm a bit behind because of my trip to China where blogger is blocked, so I'll be putting up a few posts this weekend.

I have encountered a seemingly odd inversion of value in Melbourne compared to New York, and most of the US in fact.

When I go to my local Woolworth's (supermarket) I have to use a coin ($1 or $2) to unlock the trolley (aka cart). I get it back if I return it to the right location. By comparison, in the US you can take a cart without a deposit. They tend to be far less functional (carts here are like the spinner bags and the wheels go in all directions) but it enables the famed Idiotarod.

When I get on a tram, I'm supposed to pay about $2.50 for the ride, but there is no enforcement of this rule. I have been riding for 2 months and have yet to see an inspection agent and there is no restriction on boarding.

I know that trolleys are cheaper than running a tram system, so what gives?

So the first question is: are the supermarkets in the US more trusting or do they just value their carts less? And if you really think about it, $1 is quite the deal for a trolley with spinner wheels. So perhaps it is less about trust and more about an incentive to bring the cart back to the entrance. Since the minimum wage in Australia is $18/hour instead of the US $8/hour perhaps it is just not worth hiring cart collectors. Comparing this to the Chinese airports where trolleys are free and there are tons of staff collecting the carts - that seems like the most reasonable explanation.

As for the trams, I wonder if this is a matter of needing to encourage use. Since Melbourne is like LA - spread over a large physical distance - people prefer their own cars to get around, making for nasty traffic. If the trams are easy to board, then people have one less reason to avoid them. They want people to pay, so much so that they run ad campaigns to guilt people into paying, but not enough to slow traffic flow by erecting barriers to tram boarding without payment. Compared to major cities like New York and Beijing where the public transit requires a ticket before boarding, Melbourne has a much smaller lower class population, so most of the riders are probably middle class. Since it is not a burden to pay, most people probably feel it is part of their civic duty to pay. I can think of no other explanation for why so many people pay when boarding. The New Yorker in me feels I shouldn't pay if I'm not forced to, but I admit I'm starting to feel the social pressure to be honest when those around me are.

What a strange and mysterious land Australia is - where people are nice, trollies cost $1 and all the tram riders are honest!


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Piece of f**ing piss

That was the phrase of the week here. I learned it from an American co-worker who is still working out the correct situation for usage. Then at the Good Food & Wine Show this weekend we were chatting with some guys from Oxford Landing and they clearly had their wobbly boots on, which may be why they described the show as a "piece of f**ing piss" which is apparently the equivalent of "piece of cake" in America. Clearly Yanks are far less crude in their description of what is easy, but I have to admit it is easier to piss than make a cake, so maybe they are onto something.

The other way Aussies love to use the word piss is when they are taking it out of you. As in, "no worries mate, I was just taking the piss out". which is like "yanking your chain" or "messing with ya". Apparently you must return the favor to stay mates, so I clearly need to work on this skill.

There are some commonly used phrases that I always associated with regions in the US, but are apparently more international. "wicked" is not just a New England adjective and I've heard "I reckon" more times here than I did in my visits to the South.

I will leave you with an observation from a friend that Melbourne is like Pleasantville because there are no potholes or broken windows.I reckon it would be perfect, if only getting Internet service was a piece of piss.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Aussie Slang - rated PG-13

I guess I must be getting settled, because I have run out of free time. So this post is a bit disjointed, but hopefully fun.

But I wanted to share some of my latest Aussie slang acquisitions:
Watched a game of Aerial Ping Pong with Old Mates on the Weekend, 
who were definitely Yokels who had their wobbly boots on over a few coldies.
Which translates to:
Watched a game of Australian Rules Football with some friends on 
the weekend who were Yobbo(uncouth person)-Locals who were drunk over
a few Cold Beers.

While taking the tram out on Saturday night I overheard:
Cool your tits mate!
Which seems pretty self explanatory.

And finally, my coffee barista, while explaining that nothing his daughters do fazes him:
I've seen things that would turn your shit white
Which may not be Aussie in origin, but the fact that it was said so boldly by the person serving me coffee certainly is.

I've also been regaled with potty stories by a the staff at the Hertz checkout counter, so clearly they have all read Everybody Poops and are quite comfortable with the topic.

I successfully walked home at 3AM on a Saturday night, in heels no less. So that means:

1. I should have stayed out later
2. My ankle is healed!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Old Mate

I'm learning a lot at work these days, for example:

Did you see old mate? He was heaps drunk last night!

Apparently you can use this term to refer to anything. Especially if you want to avoid speaking someone's name (and it is shorter than "He who shall not be named") or you've just plain forgotten.

I think this is a fabulous way of masking your inability to remember the names or people, and it also works for places and things. As in:

Grab that old mate while you're at it

Why remember the word for "box" when you can just throw "old mate" at the problem?

The word "mate" has sexual connotations where I'm from. It can be used as a verb when speaking about animals expressing their love. As a noun I always used it as a reference to significant others in a clinical way. As in "high maintenance women are good mates for wall street finance hotshots". But in Australia they say "partner" instead since mate is so heavily used in the brotherly-love kind of way.

I ran into a guy at a party that was complaining that there is no good word in the English language for a person who is not your "wife" but is your "long term girlfriend". The term "partner" lacks a gender so in the US that usually implies same-sex relationships. Perhaps we need a new word, or maybe we can just use "old mate"!


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Watch out she's driving on the left

It is a good thing women can multitask better than men. Because this weekend I rented a car and not only did I have to navigate and remember what I was shopping for but now I had to do it on the left side of the road, on the right side of the car, while always using my turn signal and being polite to my fellow drivers. That's a lot to keep track of, and I am proud that I only turned into the right hand lane once. I did however turn on my windshield wipers every time I wanted to turn. Thank the auto engineers they didn't swap the pedals or I might have discovered how car insurance works here.

I am now the proud owner of a Fisher & Paykel refrigerator (made in New Zealand) and a Sealy guest bed (made in Victoria state, Australia). It is neat to be somewhere that still makes stuff. I move into my new apartment on Thursday and should get new carpet and blinds next week.

I took another trip to Sydney last week and sat next to a woman with a baby in her lap. I though I was doomed, but she had the magic touch and he fell right asleep. The flight attendant asked her if she needed anything for the "bug" and I thought that was an odd term for a baby, but kinda cute. Then I was corrected by an Aussie that it was probably "bub"' which is far less cute to me since that conjure images of strangers that you don't want to socialize with. So I'm officially starting a campaign to adopt the term "bug" when referencing a cute baby. I'm quite fascinated by how we end up with all these words for the same thing and I'd like to see if I can be the meme generator in this case.

I also discovered on that trip that you cannot "fly standby" on domestic Australian flights. This is just not done and the agent was appalled that I even asked for such a concession. Meanwhile in the States they have adopted advanced standby handling procedures it is done so often. He then seemed intrigued since he was visiting the States soon and wondered what airlines offered it. Perhaps he will try it and bring back the good idea to the lovely people at Qantas. They have not had a fatal accident since 1951, but that night was one of the fastest/roughest landings I've had in my many years of flying. Still safer than a Yank driving on the left though!

I have been told that "sheila" is a term used by blokes when they are talking about women, but not to them, which explains why I have not been called that by anyone but my American friends.

My favorite word of the moment is "heaps", as in "there are heaps of cafes in Melbourne". People use it heaps! :-)


Sunday, May 15, 2011

IKEA is universal and other fun

Someday when we populate Mars there will be an IKEA with POÄNG chairs priced exactly the same as on Earth.

Yes, I've been to the Melbourne IKEA. And I came away with a basket of essentials that should keep me going in my new kitchen until my shipment from the US arrives at the end of June. Did you know you can buy a 16 piece set of forks, knives and spoons for only $5 AUD (That is $5.50 USD)! I can't buy a meal I'll eat with them for that. The miracles of the modern supply chain in action.

I have successfully navigated the challenges of acquiring a rental apartment here in Melbourne. I escaped with only minor mental scarring after one of the agents cursed me with bad kharma because I didn't call her back immediately upon taking another apartment. Sheesh! I thought people were more laid back here. But I suppose there are always a few bad eggs in any population. Thank goodness I didn't take the apartment with her or I would have been in for a nasty surprise when I asked to get a leaky faucet fixed.

Now that I have the apartment I have to buy a refrigerator, washer and dryer. I have my heart set on a Kelvinator. Yeah, you read that right, like the Governator but for your kitchen. I'm learning that I would like one that has a capacity of 300 to 500 litres. Did you notice the British spelling of that word? This is a company laptop, so it is spell checking in British English. It didn't know the word 'faucet' so I had to teach it.

Here are some Australian/British words I've acquired this week:

  • Base - box spring for mattress

  • Capsicum - bell peppers

  • Shout - promise to buy, as in "I'll shout you the next round"

  • Tipping - they don't tip for service here but they do bet on footy which is called "Footy Tipping"

  • Tick - as in "tick the box" rather than "check the box"

  • Barrack - both the place where military people are housed AND cheering for your team, as in "he barracks for the Eagles"

  • Rocket - a type of lettuce that is usually referred to as arugala in the US and is available for purchase at IKEA in a little pot for only $2.99





I will leave you with this silly image of a store in the Victoria Shopping plaza where the IKEA is located. No, I haven't shopped there...yet.




Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Sydney v. Melbourne

I spent last weekend in Sydney. My first time there so I had to stay in the CBD (Central Business District) which was like being near 5th ave in NYC. It was a lovely fall day the Saturday I was able to wander around. I watched a game of life sized chess in the park and went shopping in Paddington with Jen and her family. Note in the pictures the odd wooden deer/moose heads - one in Sydney, one in Melbourne, viewed 24 hours apart, very odd coincidence and no explanation to date. That Saturday night I walked up to the ticket booth at the Sydney Opera House an hour before the show and got tickets to Much Ado About Nothing. I am in love with the actor who played Benedic, oh, and the opera house was lovely. :-)

On my way to the Melbourne airport the cabie explained to me that Australians are obsessed with the British, although they don't like to admit it. He said their nickname is pomes which stands for "prisoners of mother England", a friendly nickname says Urban Dictionary. I bought a book called The Commonwealth of Thieves by Tom Keneally to learn more about Australia's history and discovered that more prisoners were shipped to the American colonies than Australia before the revolution. The only thing that makes us associate Aussies and criminals is because the first settlers were mostly from London prisons. And from what I read it seems they were a hearty stock to survive the prisons, then the journey and then settling the land. So here's to natural selection for producing very sporty people!

A Sydney cabie then told me that the famous Melbourne dish is Chicken Parmagiana, or Parma for short. The tradition is the put ham on top of the breaded chicken, then mozzarella and then lay it on a bed of fries. Apparently it also comes in "Mexican flavor" with nacho toppings instead. Since I've been back I noticed that most pubs and restaurants have a "Parma night" and I enjoyed one at Leo's Spaghetti Bar in St. Kilda. Clearly this is a delight for the right palate. Truly a rare event for me since that is a bit too much grease and salt for weekly consumption. It even motivated me back to the gym after a week off being sick.

So Sydney was a lovely excursion, especially since a cold front just hit Melbourne and it dropped to 3 degrees last night (that's just a bit above freezing for those of you using Fahrenheit). But I do think I like the more livable, less touristy feel here, even though the Sydney harbor is stunning and I certainly plan to climb it one day. Perhaps in the Spring when the wind doesn't cut through the silly overalls you get to wear.

I am happy to report that I have 2 applications in for apartments. So it looks like I'll have a proper place to live soon. Ta god for that!


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Backwards

My primary fear about coming to Australia was/is getting hit by a car or tram because I looked the wrong direction before crossing the street. My good friends know how much I love to jaywalk, so this is not an idle fear. I recently learned from a poster that a tram weighs as much as 30 rhinoceros, true fact, but that image is not any more terrifying than the large metal machines running down the middle of the streets. So I guess the comparison is lost on me.

And so it is with great care that I cross streets. Rarely jaywalking and always taking that extra moment to consider a head turn to the right before stepping off the curb. So far this has been a successful strategy. Wish me luck as I get more comfortable here, and eventually more inebriated.

The unexpected side effect of the left handed driving has cropped up in the oddest way for me: when navigating corridors at work. I, of course, move to the right to get out of their way. They move to their left, and so we are at an impasse until the polite Aussie moves out of my way before I realize I'm in the wrong.

Today I was bumped into in the CBD (which is like midtown) by a young man and he literally turned around and came back to take my hand and practically groveled for my forgiveness. Once I realized he wasn't going for my purse I was stunned by the effusiveness. I would be lucky to get even a brief apology in New York after such an encounter.

Another fun fact : Southern exposure just isn't the same down here, since that is the cold side and the North facing apartments get all the light.

So the question is, does all this backwardness lead to the politeness or does all the backwardness in the Northern hemisphere lead to the lack thereof?

Monday, May 2, 2011

Inspection a must

Today was my first day at work in this land down under. And as if that were not momentous enough, Obama got Osama. I was surprised to see most of the office glued to the TV watching our president give his speech. Can you remember the last time you were glued to the TV watching Julia Guillard speak? Yeah, exactly, look her up, she's the Aussie Prime Minister, she even got to go to the royal wedding last week, which means she's important.

I on the other hand am just a "new starter" and you know what that means - yes, days on the phone with Helpdesk. I'm proud to say I left with my windows laptop connected to the exchange server. But my desk phone is still stuck in an infinite reboot cycle and I could draw you the Cisco IP phone splash screen from memory (it's Java powered!). I can't get my mail on my blackberry and microsoft communicator doesn't know who I am.

All is not lost though, interpersonal skills still have a place in our virtual lives and I made introductions and I even remember 75% of the people I met. Turns out there is a big Aussie wide company party next week - a black tie one. Somehow cocktail dress did not make my list of things for the 4 suitcases I brought, so it is time to shop. Chapel street here I come!

The end of my day was an inspection of a South Yarra 1 bedroom, ground floor apartment. Turns out that ads claiming "inspection is a must" aren't just throwing out marketing hyperbole, it is required by law that tenants see the apartment before signing a lease. I learned this and much more from the Irish tenant who was sad to be returning to the UK. Turns out Melbourne is quite a fabulous place to live. And so far I agree!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Sunday Ramble in the Garden State

For the US-centric among you, I am not referring to New Jersey. Apparently, Victoria is the Garden State of Australia. I discovered this today while exploring the lovely Prahran Market (pronounced pahran because the first 'r' is a bit silent).

Not everything was open because it is Sunday, but it was still exciting enough for me. I purchased local raw honey and fresh eggs, fresh bread, produce, sausage and a quinoa salad. Everyone was so nice, and whenever I told them I had a cold I always got a piece of ginger in whatever form they sold it in. Candied from the nut stand and honeyed from the honey stand. So sweet!! I took a few photos to give you a flavor of the scene today. There was a live band in the courtyard. The pictures of the predator did not come out well, but he stood imposingly in a tattoo parlor. The tree lined walks were along Fawkner Park on the way home.

I learned from the honey vendor that raw milk is called "bath milk" because you can only buy it to take baths "Cleopatra style", as she put it. That sounds quite luxurious, but not likely something I'll do since most apartments don't seem to have tubs around here.

And how am I navigating and communicating in this fine city you ask? With my multitude of gadgets of course. I now tote around an iPad, an iPhone, a Blackberry (corporate and local), and a pocket wi-fi to get them all connected. I will clearly have to ditch some of this eventually, but for now my transition makes it necessary.



I stopped by an Ugg store on Chapel street and was appalled that they are just as expensive here as in the US. Plus I discovered that they are considered house shoes around here and most fashionable people would not be caught dead wearing them out. Take that NYC fashionistas!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Things I learned

Today was a very long day. I'm fighting a cold but I couldn't stay home to nurse it. Lucky for you that means I have new discoveries to share!

A few nice phrases I've been hearing around:

  • good on you! - an exclamation of support for whatever you just said

  • how you going? - a mashuo of "how's it going" and "how you doing"

  • ta - thanks

People have been fabulously friendly here, living up to their reputation. The only annoying people I encountered were on a crowded tram full of teenage school girls. I'll forgive them because I know it is an awkward phrase. I mean, "like Mandarin is hard and my accent is terrible, I got a 42, but I was not really trying you know". This was followed by a rant about how the new school berets look terrible on everyone (no offense to the girl wearing it of course). Imagine that in an Aussie accent, it was brilliant, to borrow a British turn of phrase.

Unlike the trains on the subway, not all train/tram doors open automatically for you. Watch out for this, you too could be caught staring dumbly at a door that will not open through sheer force of will. And you wouldn't want to be caught looking dumb in front of a gaggle of school girls, they can be vicious! I learned this in front of a friendly older woman in an outer suburb, whew!

I looked at 5 apartments today and this is what I learned about Melbourne flats:

  • Eurostyle laundry means there is a hookup, not necessarily a washer/dryer in the unit

  • Sometimes a unit comes with a dryer and not a washer so you won't hang your laundry out and mess with the building aesthetic

  • A refrigerator is considered a price of furniture, like a couch, so bring your own. Ovens and dishwashers come standard. Explain that distinction...

  • In New York I had a bedroom with more than enough room for a queen bed, that is not a given here, bedrooms are meant for full beds here, and nothing else.

  • The missing space from the bedroom has been put in the kitchen/living area usually, which makes for nice kitchens and proves they are a social people.

  • Balconies are easy to come by, worthwhile views are a bit trickier. Today I saw a busy intersection, the back of a building and a car park. One had a view of the Eureka tower but the carpet smelled, so that was out.

I think my quest for 2 bedrooms is over. There is no point in having a guest room that doesn't fit a proper bed in it. My couch sleeps one comfortably and maybe I'll get a better view for my guests to marvel at instead.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Trust and Respect - Rent or Buy

I've spent the last decade diligently following the rules so I could attain the respect of being an independent adult; capable of paying my bills and a credit report to prove it. Then It took me just 24 hours to cross an ocean and wipe the slate clean. Without a physical address I am not to be trusted. Sure, I only arrived 3 days ago, but I'm good on my word - trust me, I'm an American!

I can't get a tax ID or a driver's license, I can't register for a library card, the city bike sharing program, or a car sharing service. I can only get a bank account because I opened a US account with HSBC before I left and they know who I am. I also can't get a new phone, partly because the local providers won't give me a contract and partly because AT&T will not release it's stranglehold on the iPhone. I'm going to guess they won't trust me when I call to tell them I've moved out of their coverage area. So today I purchased a pre-paid pocket wi-fi device instead of getting it for free with a 12 month contract. Worth every Aussie penny because now all three of my devices can Skype; take that AT&T roaming charges! And so my quest for a legitimizing address is on - fueled by a pocket wi-fi connection to domain.com.au and realestate.com.au and the largest tram network in the world.

I've always thought of renting as a respectable choice. After all, buying is fraught with risks, as the housing crisis has taught us. But I'm starting to realize that renting puts you in a class of people that is somehow less respectable. You are untethered, which makes you just a bit less trustworthy. I've been wondering what the big deal is with the "American dream" of owning a home. But it seems this aspiration is not uniquely American - we just seem to expect to achieve it as if it were in the bill of rights. Every time I consider it, the numbers don't add up for me. I'd spend more to get less AND have more responsibility; therefore more risk - that the market will turn down or that there will be unexpected property maintenance expenses. And now I have one more reason to avoid it: the Foreign Investment Review Board. I am an outsider, so my intentions are instantly suspect and subject to additional scrutiny.

In Australia, your tenancy history actually gets stored in a central location for easy access by future landlords. There is a "big brother" factor to this but I suppose it is more convenient than the looser methods of tenancy verification in the US. In a way it makes renter histories as accessible as homebuyers. But without the cash investment it just doesn't garner the same amount of respect. When you walk into a real estate office they get very interested, then you tell them you are renting and they seem interested in getting you out of there quickly. When I look around at buildings and find ones I'd like to live in, they often turn out to be condos - not for lease. The best spots are owned, the rest get rented.

Tomorrow I have 3 "inspections" of "flats" scheduled. Assuming one of them pans out and they accept my application I'll become somewhat legitimate, but not quite as respectable as if I owned something.


Monday, April 25, 2011

On Holiday

Australia is a wonderful country. They have nice weather AND a very relaxed perspective about work. Take, for example, their reaction to the quandary that ANZAC day (like the US Memorial Day) happened to fall on the Monday after Easter Sunday. This would normally be a day off for Easter, but since it was now attributed to ANZAC it was decided that Tuesday should also be a holiday (to extend the Easter festivities). Mind you, this is already after getting Good Friday off, so that means a 5 day weekend for a religious holiday few people in this country actually observe.

All this would be fabulous if it weren't for the fact that I have things to do and many shops are closed - making it hard to run errands - so instead I wandered about and made some new friends.

One important thing my new friends taught me was the proper pronunciation of Melbourne. I was saying Melburn. The British say Melborn as in The Bourne Identity. The locals say Melbun. At least that is how it sounds to my ear. It seems the general rule here is to drop letters when possible, especially when they can be shortened and made cuter by adding a 'y'. To name a few: football => footy, breakfast => brekky, super => supa.

I've also enjoyed a few shop names along the way: Lucky Coq is a bar where, presumably, you can pick up guys, if they are lucky. Lord of the Fries is a cute little Pomme Frites shop. NYPD is NY Pizza Deli, which sells "authentic NY pizza" to unsuspecting Aussies.

On my first day here I was quite pleased to see a lake full of black swans and have a live encounter with possums in my friend's backyard. At this point I started to wonder about my assumption that the dangerous creatures of this land were scared away by the city. I was assured that the hospitals have all the antivenoms on hand for any spiders I may encounter and the most deadly ones don't live in Melbourne. I started noticing spider webs all over the place after that.

Since I am still an Aussie newb I was more excited than I should have been when I saw prawns being put on the grill for dinner. It turns out that no one ever says "throw another shrimp on the barbie" here. This was popularized in America by an ad from 1984 featuring Paul Hogan meant to entice American vacationers. Aussies call shrimp "prawns", even the small ones. And no one has yet said "g'day" to me.

Perhaps they give it a rest during holidays.